Colleen James

Tag: moving

  • Sweet Home Texas

    Photo by nagaraju gajula on Pexels.com of the blue bonnets in Texas

    We got out of Texas for a while. JJ, the boys, and I flew to the northeast in the summertime to visit his family for a few days, then we drove a couple states south with his mother and nephew to do some exploring. The idea was to visit a city that JJ had been researching online to see if we would potentially want to move there. It’s hard to find housing where we currently live, and with no family in town and a growing desire to experience the four seasons (as opposed to hot, hotter, and a small bout of cold in the winter), we’ve been considering getting out of Texas for a while.

    As we drove south with three young children in tow, the trip had its challenges. But it also had some great moments, too. Most of all, however, this trip was bittersweet—bittersweet, because I’ve grown to love Texas over the years.

    I never would have imagined to have become so fond of this state. As a teenager born and raised in Colorado, I vaguely remember scoffing at the idea of living here, alongside my two sisters, while watching a popular TV series that took place in Texas. Colorado has so much natural beauty, and I just couldn’t imagine living anywhere else in the world at the time.

    More than a decade later, however, God opened the door for me to study in Dallas, so I moved to the state. Ironically, I never finished that degree, but I stayed in Texas all the same, switching schools to study linguistics only 18 miles away. My idea was to finish my degree and go back overseas to pursue missions work. Nonetheless, God had other plans. The calling to missions that I had sensed over my life (and that I was able to fulfill in my twenties) was starting to fade, leaving me with a lot of questions and uncertainty about my future. Fortunately, God was planting a love for teaching English as a second language in my heart throughout that time, and several months after graduating, I was given the opportunity to teach ESL to Spanish speaking seminary students in south Texas.

    It was while living there that I met JJ, and plans changed once again. We married and moved to the west-most tip of the state soon after, where we experienced numerous highs and lows. There, we experienced the joy of welcoming our firstborn into our arms and buying our first home together. There, however, we also experienced the sorrow of dealing with personal health issues within our family, a pandemic, and personal loss. Nonetheless, treasures were forged throughout this time. Through these moments of grief, God was rekindling my love for writing that would develop into something more over time. I started blogging in that home in west Texas, and the sense that I could minister to others and encourage them through my words only grew in the months to follow.

    Six years after our initial move to west Texas, we packed our bags again and moved to a small town not too far from San Antonio, where we currently reside, and there have been plenty of joys and sorrows within our time here, too. We moved here on the heels of our own heartbreak right before the town was to experience its own tragedy. Several months after that, we experienced more heartbreak as our oldest son struggled in school.

    Nonetheless, I clung onto Lamentations 3:22-24, as follows:

    The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
        his mercies never come to an end;
     they are new every morning;
        great is your faithfulness.”

    Furthermore, as the year came to an end, He made a passage from the Psalms to become our reality.

    Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.”

    -Psalm 30:5b

    The following year, we welcomed a second son into our family and saw our oldest son grow in such wonderful ways. Since then, JJ has also had different opportunities to grow within his profession, and God has given me a greater sense of purpose through writing and publishing my first children’s book with more to come!

    Texas really has been such a blessing for my family and me. God has given us so many opportunities to see His goodness in our lives while also being stretched and molded to look more like Him. Our time here has been rich in so many ways, and the friendships we have formed throughout our years living here have been so precious that it’s hard to think about saying goodbye. Nonetheless, as we spend a few more seasons here, I want to remember that the good gifts that God has bestowed upon my family and me are not limited to this place. If He could make a place where I had no desire to live to become a blessing to me, then how much more could He do that wherever He may lead!

    As my family and I begin to prepare for what comes next, I pray we’ll keep that in mind, being expectant of the future but also living well in this moment and in all the extravagant gifts God continues to give us in our sweet home Texas.

  • The Birds of the Air

    I took this picture of this nest the next time we went on a walk as a family after the big snowstorm here in Texas last year. Many people were without power for quite a few days, my sisters included. Here in El Paso, we were fortunate to keep our power. It sure did snow, however! A few days later, as the snow began to melt and the sun came out again, we went on a walk around the field by our house, and I was surprised to see this nest, completely covered from top to bottom in foliage except for a small opening on the side. It hadn’t been there a day or two before the storm hit, but here it was after the storm, a warm, little refuge to a bird and her eggs, I imagine. That image continues to serve as a reminder to me of God’s care for the littlest of creatures and His even greater care for us.

    Do You really care about me?

    My mind knew the answer to that question, but I needed God to reassure my heart of it.

    It didn’t have to be that way. I didn’t have to be having these doubts. But as we planned for a garage sale, prepared to put the house on the market, and searched for an apartment to live in come March, I allowed fear and anxiety to get the best of me, and I found myself striving to do everything in my own strength instead of leaning into God and trusting Him with my burdens, as I knew He longed for me to do.

    Nonetheless, even in the midst of my sinful attitudes and lack of trust, God was still gracious to me, providing the answer that I needed to hear once again.

    As I used the restroom where my son takes speech lessons, I was struck by God’s tender care of me as I stared at the painting on the wall. I’ve seen this painting dozens of times before, but now I saw it in a new light, filled with symbolism and significance, because through it, God’s answer to my question was staring back at me.

    The picture was a simple painting on wooden slats that depicted three birds in a barren, wintry tree, and I was immediately reminded of Jesus’ words regarding birds in Matthew, as follows:

    Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? “

    Matthew 6:26

    Furthermore,

    Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

    Matthew 10:29-31

    As I headed to my car to wait for my son’s session to end that day, I searched for a song that I had heard on Christian radio many times before, then I listened to it over and over again as I silently cried in the parking lot and asked God to help me trust Him.

    I won’t say that life was all the sudden perfect. I still faced a bit of anxiety a few days later, and I had to ask God to help me be calm and to trust that everything would be completed according to His will. Nonetheless, it makes a big difference to deliver those feelings over to God and to recognize how He is walking with us in all our challenges, ready to lead us and to show us His goodness as we trust Him with each step.

    Lately, my family and I have been seeing so much of His goodness in the midst of what mainly feels like chaos as of late, and I’m reminded of the lyrics to the song that I listened to in the parking lot over a week ago, the one that continues to run through my head when I awake each morning and throughout the rest of the day:

    You hold me in Your hands
    With a kindness that never ends
    I'm carried in Your love no matter what the future brings

    -Sparrows by Cory Asbury

    We’ve seen His kindness through a successful garage sale, His provision of an apartment in a town with very scarce options (when I called the apartment complex, the first move-in availability was the exact date we were planning to move), and through what is appearing to be a successful sale of our house (we put the house on the market last Friday and received a generous offer that following Monday). And as I look at the future and all the tentative events and plans of this year, I see God’s generosity written all over it and know that I am blessed beyond measure.

    Although there still seems like so much to do, and although this fast pace of life does not promise to slow down anytime soon, I am learning to see more and more how much we truly are carried in His love, no matter what the future brings. I only need to walk with Him and let Him determine the pace. And when fear and anxiety threaten to get the best of me, I only need to trust that He is working everything out behind the scenes, just as He has been revealing to me as the details with this move have become clearer.

    If He can care about little birds and lilies in fields, then He surely cares about us humans—the very ones made in His image and whose Son died for our sins so that we could live with Him eternally if we believe. We don’t have to fend for ourselves. We don’t have to live this life trying to figure it out on our own. Let’s trust Him with this new year, no matter what it may bring. He knows how to shower us with His goodness, regardless of our circumstances, so let’s place our hand in His and walk with Him through this journey, receiving whatever good gift and whatever valuable lesson He may bring to us along the way.

  • Pit Stops

    Picture of gray clouds lined by streaks of pink and a black, asphalt road sprawling out before the viewer

    The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”

    Proverbs 16:9

    I considered sharing this news in several ways but decided that being direct was the best route.

    We’re moving.

    In mid-December, JJ got an offer for a position that he had applied for over the summer, and he decided to accept it. We’ll be moving to a small town around seven hours east of here in early March.

    Although I’m happy we’ll be living within a couple of hours of my family in San Antonio, I’m saddened to leave El Paso for all the momentous highs and lows we’ve experienced here.

    El Paso is the city that JJ and I moved to as newlyweds. It’s the city where I went mountain biking with him for the first time, we had countless of barbecues over the grill outside our first apartment, I spent numerous hours with a friend swimming in our apartment pool, and where I got a job as an interpreter that provided me the most breathtaking view of the Franklin mountains each morning I drove to work.

    It’s the city where JJ and I discovered that we were going to be parents and where we attended birthing classes and began to prepare for and anticipate life with a little baby. It’s also the city where our baby boy was finally born, where I became a stay-at-home mom, and where we discovered the hardships and joys of having a newborn and then a toddler who is now almost four.

    JJ and I bought our first house here and turned it into a home, and we’ve seen a lot of firsts here ever since. First steps. First words. First holidays as a family.

    It was here in El Paso that Liam was admitted to the hospital for a couple of nights and diagnosed with an illness that caused him to be on medication for nearly an entire year. Much of my social life was stripped away from me during that time as JJ and I sought to protect Liam’s immune system as best as we could. But it was also here where God blessed me with incredible friendships during that period of time. One friend came to visit weekly, and another group of dear friends came monthly for a Saturday afternoon potluck. I came to realize how life-giving friendships could be during that time, and I’ll forever be grateful to these friends (and others) for how they helped to bring me through a rough year.

    It is here where, after Liam fully recovered his health in December 2019, we entered into the pandemic with the rest of the world a few short months later. Despite all the restrictions life threw us at that time, however, my friends and I still found ways to connect, doing Bible studies together or baking and doing crafts together online. And then there were the drop-offs of baked goods or presents to each other at our front doors in 2020. We connected even more deeply over our shared hardship, and God used these challenges to cause us to experience spiritual growth.

    As I remember all the epic moments that my family and I have personally experienced here thus far and all the beautiful reconnections of 2021, I recognize how much God has both blessed JJ and me and stretched our faith as He has taught us to trust Him more deeply. Much like the actual wilderness that El Paso is, God has brought us through a wilderness experience in our spiritual journey here these last few years. We’ve been reminded more profoundly that He is enough and that He is faithful. As uncomfortable as our journey has been at different points of time here, He has continued to provide for us and to remind us that He has journeyed with us every step of the way.

    When I think about all of the incredible moments that my family and I have experienced here in El Paso, a popular saying comes to mind. All good things must come to an end. Fortunately, as believers, we know that this phrase is not really true. As much as this good thing of living in El Paso is coming to an end for my family and me, another popular phrase rings truer for those of us in Christ Jesus.

    The best is yet to come.

    The truth is, any place in which we make our dwelling in this life is only a pit stop on our spiritual journey here on earth. Our Forever Home awaits us, and we know that only what is good and true and pure will welcome us in that place.

    As my family and I begin to pack and prepare for this next move, and as I deal with my own uncertainties and fears in the process, I am comforted to remember that this next place is only a pit stop on this road trip of life. Furthermore, it brings me greater comfort to know that God has placed this specific town on the map of my own spiritual journey. He knows exactly how He will provide for my family and me in this new town, and He knows what treasures we will unearth there and the friendships we will gain.

    As bittersweet as it is to say farewell to El Paso and our friends here and everything this place has represented to us, I trust that God is leading our every step to this new place, and I trust that He is good. So, we will move forward by His help and through His strength, looking forward to all that He has in store.

    Some of my favorite views in El Paso. Image 1: large boulders and the wilderness beyond them. Image 2: a fountain at The Fountains shopping area. Image 3: A whimsical, yellow tree at the sports plex. Image 4: Christmas decorations at the Fountains shopping area