I believe God is sovereign over the lives of every individual, but I see Him orchestrating some stories more clearly than others. Take my friend Rachel, for instance. Rachel and I met in 2010 at seminary. A nurse by trade, she had decided to pursue a second degree in counseling so that she could better provide care to her medical patients. I admired her commitment.
We lost touch with each other shortly after that first semester when I switched schools to study linguistics, but ten years later, she contacted me to share a faith-based podcast she had started for mothers called “Momming on the Go” (https://mommingonthego.buzzsprout.com/).
At this point, I had begun blogging, so I shared my blogsite with her as well, and we renewed our friendship over comments on each other’s content and occasional texts to each other.
In 2021, Rachel experienced her hardest year yet. She gave birth to a precious stillborn baby boy on Valentine’s day, and then, just five months later, she gave birth to another precious stillborn baby boy. Still, she looked to God in the pain, naming her second stillborn baby Emmanuel–God is with us.
When I experienced my own miscarriage the following year, she was one of the first people I wanted to tell.
Having experienced 3 miscarriages prior to the births of her stillborn sons, Rachel was sure to understand the grief of such a loss even more than I could.
What impressed me most about sharing my experience with her was how much compassion she had for me. I lost my baby very early in pregnancy, so I could only imagine how much worse she had suffered through her multiple losses. Nonetheless, she never compared my pain to hers, and she grieved with me in my loss, acknowledging and thus honoring the precious life that, for such a brief time, had lived within me. Our friendship only deepened as a result.
Fast forward to the summer of 2022, and Rachel shared with me one day about a non-profit organization she was gearing to set up thanks to a series of events that God had orchestrated in her life.
One of the things God used was the kindness of a nurse that was able to relate to and encourage Rachel from the depths of her grief. Another instrumental moment was hearing about the experience of a close friend who gave birth to a stillborn son with a nurse at her side who was specifically equipped for that moment. This friend told Rachel how it made an awful experience feel less lonely, and Rachel desired to give other women experiencing loss a less lonely experience too.
Unfortunately, she was unable to find a way to do so with her own OB/GYN or other doctors, midwives, and nurse managers in the area. These closed doors, however, only opened the door to beginning her own non-profit organization where she could minister to women experiencing miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss.
When Rachel first told me of her plans, I wanted to cry for joy. I could see how God was bringing together all the pieces of her story—her education, profession, passions, and experiences–for His good purpose. Even the broken areas of her life were being masterfully crafted into this story of redemption that God was writing. The shattered pieces, in fact, were some of the most vital ones.
Rachel didn’t quite have a name for her non-profit at that time, but when she finally decided to name it, she couldnt have chosen a better fit. Unspoken Motherhood. Unspoken, because the babies who die may never be spoken of. To others, their names may never be known. And Motherhood, because these women still are very much moms, even if they never have the blessing of being called by that title. Nonetheless, regardless of how “unspoken” motherhood may be for some, these women and the precious babies they lose are certainly not unseen. The God who sees is not blind to our grief, and He is equipping people like Rachel to be His hands and feet to those who are suffering.
As much as I wish Rachel’s own story did not include such devastating loss, I am amazed by the beauty that God has brought from ashes when I see the restorative work He has done in her, and I am in awe when I think of the other stories of loss and grief that He can redeem as He uses Rachel to be a source of comfort to others from the same comfort that she herself received. Let’s pray it is so!
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, [4] who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 ESV
Link to Unspoken Motherhood:
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